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- Top Ten Signs Your Kid Watches Too Much T.V.
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- 10. Instead of coughing, emits short bursts of static
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- 9. Constantly murdering people in hopes of meeting Angela Lansbury
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- 8. Most T.V. commercials have begun addressing him by name
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- 7. You can adjust his volume using the remote control
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- 6. He's seen Tom Arnold's show
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- 5. Room covered with giant posters of shirtless Bob Barker
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- 4. The poor little bastard's got Koppel hair
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- 3. Steals batteries from your pacemaker to put in remote control
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- 2. He's six and his ass covers entire couch
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- 1. Always answers in the form of a question
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- Letterman, Wednesday October 19, 1994
- Originally aired May 20, 1994
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1994
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